Have you ever gone over a conversation again and again, wondering whether you said something wrong? Have you imagined dozens of possible scenarios for something that hasn't even happened yet?
This is one of the hallmarks of overthinking: we try to find answers, to predict every possible outcome and to make sure we don't make a mistake.
What lies behind overthinking
Often, behind this effort lies a need for control and a difficulty tolerating uncertainty.
Yet the more we try to think through every possibility, the more our anxiety can grow.
The mind is looking for the certainty that will bring it peace. But every new answer gives rise to another "what if…", and the cycle goes on.
Thinking is useful when it helps us understand and decide.
It becomes exhausting when it keeps us trapped in the same questions.
What can you do?
- Ask yourself: "Is what I'm thinking helping me find a solution, or is it just making me more anxious?" The answer often shows whether a thought is taking you somewhere or just going round in circles.
- Separate the facts from assumptions and possible scenarios. What do you know for sure? What are you afraid might happen? It can help to write them down on paper.
- Accept that you can't predict or control everything. Uncertainty is part of life; it doesn't have to disappear for you to move forward.
- Once you've thought enough, try to move on to a small, concrete action. A small step often brings more calm than one more thought.
You don't have to answer every question your mind comes up with. Nor does every thought need your attention.
Sometimes peace of mind doesn't come from thinking more, but from learning to let some thoughts pass.
When overthinking becomes a burden
If these thoughts wear you out or affect your sleep, your relationships or your daily life, talking with a psychologist can help you find your own way of managing them.
Vasilis Saloustros, Psychologist